A Journey Into The World of Male Stripping

A few years ago, I found out that a friend of mine had somehow morphed into one of the preeminent male strippers in the Midwest. 

And then I delightedly *also* found out that he – and a few of his colleagues – needed help with their marketing efforts. 

So in the course of a few odd years moonlighting as Consultant To The Chiseled Men Of The Heartland, I’ve spent more time than I possibly could have imagined thinking about the over-the-top world of male stripping. 

Thinking about why – outside of the obvious – Magic Mike XXL was so beloved by every single woman I know. 

Thinking about why there are so few strip clubs that put men at the center of things. 

Thinking about the little-talked about – but very prominent – female gaze in our culture – and how that affects the way men perform masculinity. 

Thinking about how code-switching very much exists within the world of masculinity but isn’t ever talked about. 

And thinking about what type of “masculinity” these strippers are performing, and who defines it and benefits from it. 

 

I’ve heard a lot about this world from the male point of view (shout out to The North Dakota Clydesdale!), so I decided to interview a woman who’s a self-described super fan of these male revues. 

 

First off – what does “masculinity” mean to you? 

Masculinity is so deeply personal to every person I know, that it feels hard to define. It’s a performance that everyone takes on differently. It’s something that is so nebulous while being so easy to spot. Like is masculinity just muscles and repressed emotions? I know it isn’t, but damn it’s such a loaded concept. 

What pops into your head when you think about the opposite of masculinity? Why? 

I am warped! I just think about softness, which is such bullshit. There is extreme tenderness in masculinity, it just depends on the person. I’ve been so conditioned to believe that masculinity is the absence of vulnerability. 

Tell me about your Magic Mike journey! 

WHERE TO BEGIN?! I have been a huge fan of the film franchise since the beginning. I saw the first film in theaters and the energy of the audience on opening night was BONKERS. People were screaming, giggling and throwing things. I absolutely love moments like that, so I was sold. I also find Channing Tatum to be fascinating. He’s like this sweet but beefy, dumb but smart, feminist former stripper? What a perfect combo. 

Ever since Magic Mike Live was announced, my good friend Liz and I have obsessed over how funny it would be to see. We’re weird former art school girls who LOVE dance movies (ask me about any Step Up film!!!) and will do anything for the bit, so it had to happen eventually! This year we finally committed to seeing it in Vegas for my birthday. 

So, three of us bought front row seats to a show on a Friday night and were kind of freaked out when we got there. Like it’s such a… weirdly mainstream experience. Bachelorette parties everywhere. The room was full of every popular girl from high school and we were terrified. But then the show started and it was SO MUCH FUN. It had the energy I got from seeing the first film but times 1000. The dancing was so good. Being that close to intensely performative sexuality was so outside of my comfort zone that I just giggled my way through every cheek kiss and body roll in my face. 

After the show my friends and I were losing our minds over how much FUN we had. The show was so silly, sweet, funny and kinda horny? But also there’s something not horny at all about a bunch of men dancing in unison. We went back to the hotel and looked all of the dancers up on Instagram while drinking wine and just GIGGLING. 

The next morning we decided we really needed to see the show again from a different angle, to really round out our experience. So, I found resale tickets for the front row on the other side of the stage (the stage is a platform in the center of the room, so you really get a 360 view). 

When we got there, the crowd felt different. Way more weirdos (the emo festival was canceled that day and we ended up sharing a table with a girl who was supposed to be seeing My Chemical Romance). The host of the show recognized us from the night before! It was… funny and horrifying at the same time. The second night was just as fun, and way more immersive. Something about going to the show and remembering all the men’s real names, and which ones are like happily married dads or gay Instagram heartthrobs is extremely lol. And I now have strong opinions on what seats you should get (tables, not couches, preferably near the piano). 

The silliest part is that there’s a moment in the show when they invite women on stage so that the men can take off their underwear to reveal smaller underwear and then tell them how much they appreciate the women. The host pulled me on stage for that moment since she remembered me and it was my birthday lmaoooo. 

And that was the end of my MML experience. FOR NOW. Maybe I’ll go see it in Miami or london. 

Why do you think the world of male stripping is so interesting? 

I think what’s interesting about male stripping is that it’s just as much about the people in the audience. I haven’t spent much time in female strip clubs, but there’s definitely a different type of reverence for the performers. At MML it’s like, yeah these dudes are hot and showing us their abs, but it’s also about a group of women (and men!) who are collectively in this room and sharing energy. The screaming and shared looks of glee/embarrassment is something that I don’t think you get to experience in strip clubs geared towards the male gaze. There’s an underlying understanding that all of us are going to go back to our significantly less magic lives and this experience is special, so we all bask in it. 

What was the most rewarding part about your experience? 

I know this sounds INSANE but there is a really fun and empowering energy at Magic Mike Live. The story (yes there’s a story) is so clever and it really embraces female pleasure. Leaving the show, my friends and I all just felt GOOD. We felt good about indulging so much in something people find cringey. Magic Mike Live being as amazing as it is felt like a secret that we’ knew’d learned and that our skeptical friends would never understand. 

It also really allowed me to understand how freaky abs are. Like I haven’t touched many dudes with rock solid abs ’cause it’s not my TYPE… but uhhhh, wtf guys? 

Was there anything you didn’t love? 

I didn’t get enough lap dances! Just kidding. I really don’t think there was anything about that show that I didn’t come out loving. 

What was the difference between your expectations and actual experience? 

I really wasn’t expecting there to be a story. I thought it was just going to be a bunch of dudes grinding on everyone for an hour! But I shouldn’t be surprised because the Magic Mike franchise is genuinely about a love of pleasure and men who understand that women want more than just some thrusting. Like did you see Joe Mangianello in the gas station!? 

What’s the role of masculinity within stripping? And how is that similar/different to everyday masculinity? 

I think masculinity is performed in such a funny way in stripping. Like these guys come out on stage acting super macho but then they start doing their silly little dances! It’s perfect! It’s a boy band. It’s hard to take masculinity seriously when it’s covered in baby oil and dancing to Pony by Ginuwine. But it’s so much more fun that way. I’ve never been drawn to hyper masculine men, so this was a fun way to enjoy that persona, while knowing that it’s all an act. Because, let’s be honest… men are fucking terrifying in real life. We know what happens when men want to express their sexual desires and we reject them. Or when their masculinity is threatened by something outside of that binary. 

The show sets male masculinity and sexuality up in a way that feels safe to engage with, which allows all of us to have a lot of fun.

-Megan Weisenberger