Masc4Masc

Grindr has never been known as the place to go for meaningful discourse. The notorious hook-up app was the first of its kind to exclusively cater to gay, queer and closeted people. It’s shameless, sometimes graphic, and it serves a practical purpose for many of its users.

While scrolling through faceless profiles and torso pics, the emphasis put on masculinity is glaring. Many profile headlines list being “masc” as a selling point or requirement.

But why?

Male homosexuality has long been associated with feminine tropes such as the flick of the wrist, or the swish in the step. Many queer people have been bullied or ostracized for these traits at various points in their lives. Is the hyper-fixation on being “masc”, then, latent internalized homophobia?

I’ve also heard some gay men say “I’m gay, so I like MEN.” But the “men” they’re talking about look more like extras in an Olivia Newton John music video than members of Culture Club. So, has masculinity devolved into an aesthetic, or a set of physical ideals?

I don’t have the answers to all of these questions, so I took to Grindr to talk with users who self-identify as “masc” to get their raw and unfiltered take on what Masculinity means to them.

Masc Dom had more duality than expected. We talked about how many people live their lives guided by the conditioning or traumas they’ve endured. He was very thoughtful and introspective; slightly narcissistic, but not in a way that was repellant. He also claims to have psychic abilities, which must be nice..

Masculine Top was another person who was willing to humor me. He initially described masculinity as being aligned with the traditional male archetype. Mannerisms. Demeanor. Style. But it turns out true masculinity is just wearing “regular underwear.”

Masc Chi Guy defines masculinity by how it differs from femininity. He was aware that his assessments were informed by a heteronormative ideal of what is considered “normal” and he also touched on how straightness can be coveted and fetishized by certain members of the community. He was willing to acknowledge that his opinion was simply his opinion and was in no way absolute fact, but even so, his opinion seemingly was informed by a desire to reject stereotypes that may have been projected onto him.

Masc DL Hung brought up an interesting point of stoicism. While stoicism isn’t inherently negative, I do think the expectation of men to internalize their feelings can be potentially harmful. Despite his compelling first response, Masc DL Hung was not interested in engaging any further than what is shown above.

Masc Looking seemed to be looking for something other than this conversation. He promptly blocked me after I refused to send pics, and instead responded with a follow-up question. From his assessment of masculinity, I doubt I would’ve been his type anyway. To each their own.

-Max Goldstein