Uppers + Downers
PROTECH YA NECK
UPPER
Despite how very cool and glamorous it is to sport the delicate hunch of tech neck, Gen Z is yet again bucking the mold. A recent resurgence of dumb phones is blossoming alongside the growing mental health concerns stemming from overconsumption of social media. I wonder if they come with Snake?
DOWNER
Grass continues to go chronically under-touched. Fairly equal social media engagement among generations notwithstanding, Gen Z reports more negative impacts on mental health than others. While causative (not simply correlative) implications are difficult to pinpoint, it’s fair to say Gen Z overall mental health outlook isn’t great, and social media bears the brunt of the blame.
DRUKQS
UPPER
The subtle art of the keg stand may be in jeopardy as Gen Z is binge drinking less than previous generations. While frat boys must carry the torch alone, the rest of Gen Z will be dropping more acid. Unequivocally good…but that’s just, like, my opinion, man.
DOWNER
Gen Z is also experiencing alarming rates of deaths due to drug overdose, with the rise in fentanyl-contaminated substances a prime culprit. Utterly heartbreaking.
MENTAL HEALTH IS MENTAL WEALTH
UPPER
Gen Z is easing the stigma around discussing mental health by being the most likely to report challenges, as well as availing themselves of therapy at higher rates. And here I thought bottling everything up and erupting at family dinner was a time-honored American tradition.
DOWNER
Gen Z may well be taking a different kind of blue pill altogether. Depression is running rampant amongst the youth, with climate change, mass shootings, and financial instability all feature as major sources of mental malaise.
WE DON’T (?) NEED NO (?) EDUCATION
UPPER
Gen Z is on track to be the most educated generation yet, with lower rates of highschool dropout. I guess they’re “studying” for “school” instead of working.
*fist shaking intensifies*
DOWNER
Gen Z appears to be increasingly skeptical that attaining a post-secondary degree will pave the way to Success. Furthermore, less interest and trust in college attendance hasn’t translated to an increase in Gen Z interest in the skilled trades – and here we started to actually believe in their pinko tendencies. Why don’t they try getting a real job?
BODY DIS/COUNT
UPPER
Gen Z, more than any generation, is comfortable with relationship gray space, instead prioritizing themselves over relationships, seeking to achieve personal and financial stability first.
DOWNER
Maybe being a virgin gamer is actually better than routinely getting ghosted in the hellscape that is online dating. More tendies and dewie, please, mom.
– Eve Ejsmont